That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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