Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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