I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Boobs speak an international language.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
