i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Randomize
