I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
