I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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