He disabled his match.com account in front of me
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
