I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Randomize
