I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I'm like, not good at living.
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