I want to make a zoo with you.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I won't apologize to a one balled man
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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