I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
