i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
So apparently I’m into choking now
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize