my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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