Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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