there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
