was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
