i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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