i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
try to milk me bitch
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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