Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
