But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
he shaved USA in his pubs
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize