glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
