Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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