Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
