Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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