Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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