don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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