Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
