Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
