Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
My balls are so social today.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
