Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
