Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Welp...herpes.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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