If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
