Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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