seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
