i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
