And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
NoShamevember. You game?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Randomize
