She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
