For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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