I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
