so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize