gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
