On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
