We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
