all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
