would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
