Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I wish i was in the wii world.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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