I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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