I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
