Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
