just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
