May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
