Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
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