you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I just found puke in my bra..
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
