kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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