Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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