I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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