Define "chronic" masturbator.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
