so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
