Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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