omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Did I show you my penis last night?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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