but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
