My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize