**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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