Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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