Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
