she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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